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Friday, January 20, 2012

A Remarkable Couple, Part 1

To say that Hellen and Harvey Osgood are an unconventional couple is an understatement. Here, we have an officer of the New York City Atheists (Harvey) married to a devout Christian (Hellen). Both are native New Yorkers - Harvey is Jewish, born in Brooklyn, and Hellen is Danish and Jamaican, born in Manhattan. Harvey has a master's degree in engineering and worked for decades for the MTA. Both gifted from childhood, Harvey attended the highly regarded Stuyvesant High School while Hellen was accepted to Bronx Science (she chose not to not attend). Hellen's educational background is multifaceted, at one time training as a nurse. She is currently a project manager at the MTA, where she met Harvey.

Although their achievements are many, I am not writing this to feature bullet points on a curriculum vitae. Hellen and Harvey are remarkable as human beings. There are many things that come to mind regarding the couple, but for anyone who has been married or in a committed relationship, one of the most incredible thing that stands out in the marriage between Hellen and Harvey is that they don't fight. Harvey told me that one of the first things Hellen asked him when they met was about his approach to conflict resolution. Anyone who has had relationship and/or marriage experience can easily understand why Harvey was so impressed with this first question.

Harvey has the mind of an engineer and is very analytical. Although trained in the hard sciences,  he is also a master of understanding the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. He has formulated many unique philosophies and views, such as his concept of the necessary trinity of elements which good relationships are built on: love, trust, and mutual respect. His personal philosophies are typically deep and nuanced.

Hellen is one of the most generous people I have ever known. She is non-confrontational, yet intolerant of nonsense. They share a love of being together and meet each other's needs extremely well. Personal time and space apart is not something which they desire. At any given moment, Harvey can tell you precisely how many weeks and days they have been together, which he is frequently apt to do.

They recently celebrated their 4-year wedding anniversary. I pondered what I might give the well-heeled couple. I decided to write a toast, which I read aloud at their anniversary party. On Monday, I will publish the text of the offering here, along with a video of my reading. Then you will meet Hellen and Harvey and learn why I entitled my toast not Sweet Dreams, but Bitter Greens...

Related Posts: Ice Cream Sandwiches, Myra's Isle, War Against Disservice (Part 1 and Part 2), When Brian Met Sally

9 comments:

Karen said...

Really nice post. They have the dynamic.

An Honest man said...

We've 40 years coming up with a philosophy of 'don't let an argument go beyond bedtime'.

Brian Dubé said...

Karen - yes they do.

Ann Honest Man - I have heard a number of couples tell me this. It seems like a great strategy. However, with Harvey and Hellen, believe it or not, they don't argue.

Anonymous said...

Hellen said: Brian you too kind. The pictures are lovely and the words come from the heart of a true friend. You "get" us.

Cheri said...

Great post!

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SH -ic said...

thank you for sharing .. I love these stories .. nice to know about these nice people .. a lovely hello from Hamburg

kamagra said...

It really makes you think and re evaluate how you treat your spouse and examine your heart and motives.

lunaticg said...

Wish I can be like them when the time comes. Couple should't be lovely only when they're young.